So the past few days after about 2 months on anti-depressants for anxiety I've suddenly had it all come back again. Waves of my heart feeling like it's going to fly out of my chest, dizziness, not being able to catch my breath and just really, really unpleasant feelings. Extremely bored to the point where I feel borderline madness creep in, but the thought of going outside fills me with intense dread. I have been taking myself for walks but the moment a car comes past or I meet anyone else on the way the panic all comes back and I want to disappear.
The past two nights I have been unable to get to sleep. I can never fall asleep quickly normally because as soon as my head hits the pillow come the obsessive thoughts, panicking, "what if" scenarios of that day playing over and over, but normally it reaches about 3.30am and I'm tired enough to just fall asleep. The past few nights however I've been wide awake - my body know it's tired and I can't stop yawning but my eyes just will not close. It's ended up with me going to bed at 7am and 8am respectively and waking up at 1pm and 3pm, to which my mum growls at me "YOU'RE WASTING YOUR LIFE!". Sigh.
